My husband and I have been married for 7 years, and I have been dancing for 4. I've always loved to dance but didn't know I had a passion for it until I took an actual class, and I've been addicted ever since! My husband took 1 class with me and didn't like it, so it's always been my thing ever since.

Even though my husband doesn't dance, he has no problem with me going out and dancing the night away alone; this has been great for us because I couldn't be with someone who didn't support my wishes.

My issue is that I wish I was with someone who could dance with me... I'd like to just get lost in a romantic bachata sometimes but can't... I feel like it would be inappropriate for me to do a "dirty dance" with someone because I'm married... Everyone knows I am, I don't hide it that I'm married, but I just feel that I'm missing out because my significant other can't be on the dance floor with me... Has anyone experienced this? Thanks!

I've been with my sweetheart for 12 years. He doesn't dance. I talked him into a community college class because I couldn't get him into a real studio. It was....okay.

He didn't have a good time and his not so good time wore on me. I thanked him for trying and have left it alone since then.

The people at my studio know I'm involved and they know I'm off limits which sets a structure that allows me to be as romantic and naughty as I want. It doesn't mean anything and because we all know that we can all let go and have a blast. Know in your own heart you won't cheat on him and that truth should set you free. You love him, you don't love your partner but you can play pretend. It's actually healthier for your relationship. Research indicates a woman who is exposed to a flirtatious environment and has physical, stopping at intimate, contact with other men actually has stronger relationships with her life partner that are more sexually satisfying. (I'm actually a Psych. so I know what I'm talking about.)

Let yourself go within the structure you have set. Be happy your husband tried...

Belle

belleofyourball. Those of you who have a husband or partner who is not interested in dancing. Then thats the way it is. Would you for instance go fishing several times a week, which might be your mates obsesion. On the local scene things might work out. But to be a competitor which could mean being away for weekends at a time. That is asking for trouble.

Sooner or later, you will leave your husband.

Try to get him to take Square Dance Lessons. Almost all men, (particulary engineers and math majors), seem to excell at Square Dancing. After a couple of years, you can get him into Round Dancing. (Coreographed Ballroom.)

Having a Caller, or a Cuer give you the Cues relieves the man from having to think too much.

You have to decide if your marrage is more important than your dancing. Your husband must decide if you are worth taking lessons for.

Square Dancing is the middle road.

Ballroom is just too personal. It is very easy to fall in love when you are dancing. Having to feel guilty whenever a guy makes you feel good is difficult.

As I said, your marrage is on shakey ground. Both of you should give that a lot of thought.

Michael

No one can decide if they like or dislike dancing after one lesson. When I asked my husband to take lessons with me, I made him promise that he would stay with it for a year. After that if he decided it wasn't for him, he could quit but I would continue on my own. Six years later, we're still dancing together and he really enjoys it (much to his surprise!)
Personally, I would have been angry and disappointed if he had quit after one lesson.